Saturday, May 7, 2011
Owning my anger and liking it
It has to come to my attention I have struck a nerve with the pro-adoption community by speaking out. What do I say to that? GOOD! Around this time all my triggers start going off and probably more so this year because Im very hormonal and because I dont have a mother anymore. So Im more loud and vocal and it felt oh so good. Some people may see it as being nasty but its not its just plain truth. Adoption IS nasty it cant be sugar coated and wrapped in pretty pink and blue bows like the industry tries so hard to do. Anger can be so powerful. Anger helped me find my voice. Now that Ive found my voice the pro adoption advocates dont like it but they never were fans of truth. Let me explain something adoption brings out anger in everyone not just the moms. Read an adoptees blog they are angry they dont have rights to there indentity a basic human right. Read an adopters blog they are angry they are broken and cant create life. Me being a mom Im angry that my son was stolen from me Im angry that being young and unwed was enough of a reason to steal my flesh and blood child from my hours after birth because someone with a bigger bank account and a marriage certificate needed a child to feel complete. My anger has so many faces. How our anger is precieved is a different thing. Adoptees are told to shut up be grateful that they were "saved" their anger is wrong and they should be happy and farting rainbows. Moms are called bitter, pathetic, nasty you name it Ive heard it. Adopters are justified its accepted they are given comfort. Anyone see anything wrong with this? My anger keeps me strong. Ive met so many so many strong women along this journey that amaze me and someday I hope to be that strong. Then Ive seen those that crumble and drink the kool aid and live in never never land. I dont wanna crumble and live in never never land. Ill keep my anger Ill own my anger. Im not going to hold back anymore to make others happy. Im done being weak and scared and wanting to please everyone and not speaking up for myself. I look back and think isnt that how I got into this mess in the first place?